TV Review: Doctor Who – “The Angels Take Manhattan”

A silence descended as “The Angels Take Manhattan” drew to a close, broken only by a brief stirring as the trailer for the Christmas special aired.  My mouth was hanging open, my eyes dry after almost an hour of not blinking, and I knew there was nothing else to do but watch the episode again.

I’m not really sure why I was so shocked, as that is the overall feeling that prevailed after both viewings of the episode, but perhaps it was the finality of it all?  I’m going to go right ahead and list my favourite moments and quotes from the midseason finale of series 7 and perhaps I’ll have reached a verdict by the end of the post.

*** SPOILER ALERT ***

Spoilers for “The Angels Take Manhattan”

What I Loved

I loved the pulp noir detective feel to the episode, especially the opening scenes.  I’ve always had a weakness for the genre and enjoyed how fact blended into fiction with The Doctor’s narration, as well as the paradox of him narrating his own story before it had happened. 

I loved the return of the Weeping Angels and I thought that the Liberty Angel was just fabulous.  This time they were more terrifying than ever but the notion of the Winter Quay time energy factory was just sublime.  The Weeping Angels were always one of my favourite nemeses but I think this episode was my favourite too.

I enjoyed the banter in Central Park and the scene with Rory pretending not to have noticed Amy’s aging.  I loved Amy playing Poohsticks and I liked her wearing glasses.  I was a little disappointed that The Doctor made no reference to his previous incarnations use of spectacles!

I loved this scene:

I thought that the special effects were awesome and I loved when The Doctor remarked that they had bounced off of 1938.  How surreal.

I liked that The Doctor felt drawn to Melody Mallone, that he had a schoolboy crush on her, before he even realised who she was.  Of course he’d like her!  And I loved that he was all nervous before seeing River Song again and that he took the time to straighten himself up. 

This is going to sound strangely sadistic but I adored The Doctor’s pain and fury on realising that this was Amy’s final story.  It was a powerful scene and I really enjoyed the magnitude of his reaction.

I loved the scene with The Doctor and Amy backing up the stairs, away from the Baby Angels (who knew we’d have a sinister variation on that term?)

Fabulous Quotes and Dialogue

The Doctor: “I hate endings”.

___

Amy: “What was that?”

The Doctor: “1938.  We just bounced off it”.

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The Doctor: “It’s their preferred form of attack.  They zap you back in time.  Let you live to death”.

___

Amy: “Time can be rewritten”.

The Doctor: “Not once you’ve read it”.

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River Song: “You realise it’s screaming; the others can hear?”

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River Song: “It mean, Mr Grayle, just you wait until my husband gets home”.

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The Doctor: “Sorry I’m late honey, traffic was hell”.

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River Song: ”If it was that easy, I’d get you to do it”.

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River Song: “Didn’t you use to be somebody?”

The Doctor: “Didn’t you kill The Doctor?”

River Song: “Doctor Who?”

___

River Song: “When one’s in love with an ageless god who insists on the face of a twelve-year-old, one does one’s best to hide the damage”.

The Doctor: “It must hurt”.

River Song: “Yes, the wrist is pretty bad too”.

___

Rory: “I always wanted to visit the Statue of Liberty, I guess she got impatient”.

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Rory: “To save you, I could do anything”.

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The Doctor: “What are you doing?”.

Amy: “Changing the future. It’s called marriage”.

 

What I appreciated despite myself

I never wanted Amy and Rory to leave.  When I considered the possibility that they might not die, I realised I didn’t want a repeat of Rose or Donna.  As shocked as I was by the finality of it all, by the creation of a fixed moment in time, I have to admit that I was impressed by the finale.  I love time paradoxes and I liked that the Weeping Angels were thwarted by Rory’s double death.

I’m not so sure I liked the idea of them all conveniently living to tell the tale but I accept that having Amy, Rory, The Doctor and River Song trapped in limbo for the rest of eternity might not have been appealing to the audience. 

All I really have to say about the scene where first Rory and then Amy were attacked by the Weeping Angel is that it would have been so much better if it weren’t for the unavoidable spoilers and the cacophonic headlines announcing Arthur Darvill and Karen Gillan’s departure.  It really would have worked better if it had been a surprise.

I have to admit that I think Stephen Moffat tied up all of the loose threads pretty well and I am as surprised as anybody that I actually enjoyed one of his finales.  Amy and Rory Pond get to live a happily ever after, albeit not in their chosen timeline, and River Song is free to tear around the universe.  For now.

What I Didn’t Like

I get the feeling that I’m not meant to feel this way but there wasn’t really anything I disliked in this episode.  Sure, I’m aware of the preoccupation with marriage but I’m also the first to cry out at the lack of role models for young people.  Likewise, I have to wonder at the insistence that The Doctor, as a man, can’t just go out and conquer the universe on his own but why would we want to push the notion of loneliness and isolation?  So even though I refer to what I didn’t like in this section, the fact is that there wasn’t anything that offended me.  For once, the companion doesn’t lose everything when she leaves the TARDIS, be it the life she knows, her precious memories or her broken heart, but she actually gained everything and got to live a happily ever after.

 

 

   

Doctor Who returns on Christmas Day

All images and promo stills © BBC 2012

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TV Review: Doctor Who – “The Power of Three”

In “The Power of Three” we take a year out in the life of The Doctor and in Amy’s words, it is “the year of the slow invasion, the time The Doctor came to stay”.  Like Chris Chibnall’s “Dinosaurs on a Spaceship”, this episode has a Christmas Special feel to it but overall it was a bit of a rollercoaster ride.

The episode begins with with a great pop culture montage of how we imagine life with The Doctor to be (adventure, aliens and explosions) compared to how it really is (waiting around for The Doctor to arrive).  Rory and Amy realise that they must choose between ‘real life’ and life on the TARDIS.  Just not today though.

Little black boxes have begun to appear out of nowhere on planet Earth.  They are perfect little cubes but nobody knows where they come from or what they are for. 

 

What I Expected

I expected not to like it.  I’m not a fan of Whoniverse alien Earth-invasion stories not because I don’t like the concept (I was obsessed with the original V series after all) but because I rarely enjoy their execution.  I get a little weary of these massive, apocalyptic invasions that are incredibly systematic and well thought out by the invaders but not as well thought out by the writers when it comes to plot, logic and the reasoning behind them.

 

*** SPOILER ALERT ***

Spoilers for “The Power of Three”

What I Loved

I didn’t love all of “The Power of Three”, or even most of it as I had with the first three episodes of season 7, but I did love a lot of it.

I loved seeing Mark Williams reprise his role as Brian Williams, Rory’s father.  He is such a fabulous comedic actor and it occurred to me that he certainly didn’t get enough chance to shine in the Harry Potter films. 

I loved the patient and indulging look in The Doctor’s eyes as Brian goes through every possible theory regarding the origin of the cubes.

I adored The Doctor being busy, trying to entertain himself while waiting for the little cubes to do something, anything.

I loved the return of fish fingers in custard and was shocked beyond belief when one of my non-Whovian friends admitted he eats Vienna sausages dipped in strawberry yogurt.  There is a missed Doctor Who fan calling if I’ve ever seen one.

Most of all, I adored the conversation between Amy and The Doctor outside the Tower of London.  I loved the views of the Shard and the Tower and I loved what was said.  It was possibly one of the best scenes in the history of Doctor Who.  Ever.

Fabulous Quotes

I loved the quotes and lines in this episode.  This is the type of dialogue that should send the Tumblr fan base into overdrive with awesome gifs and interpretations.  And I liked that Rory and Brian got some great lines too.

The Doctor: “Invasion of the very small cubes, that’s new”.

___

The Doctor: “I don’t want them to be impressive.  I want them to be vulnerable with a nice Achilles’ heel”.

___

Rory: “What you do isn’t all there is”.

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Rory: “Did real life just get started?”

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Brian: “My middle name is diligence”.

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The Doctor: “Oh, if Fred Parry could see me now.  He’d probably ask for his shorts back”.

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The Doctor:  “I’m not running away from things, I’m running to them before they flare and fade forever. […] I’m running to you and Rory before you fade from me”

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The Doctor: “Humans. The Great Early Adopters”.

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The Doctor: “The Shakri craft, connected to Earth through seven portals in seven minutes”.

What I Didn’t Really Like

A couple of people complained that “Dinosaurs on a Spaceship” felt like a Christmas Special and while I admit that it had a big, ensemble cast feel to it, I didn’t mind too much.  With “The Power of Three” we have another Chris Chibnall episode but I have to admit that it felt again like a Christmas Special and this time I didn’t enjoy it as much. 

It reminded me a lot of Torchwood: Miracle Day and not in a good way.  I guess it also reminded me of “The Last of the Timelords” and “The Empty Child” too.  Once again, I do love Chris Chibnall’s writing but for the first two-thirds of this episode it felt almost like a tribute to Doctor Who which took on too-large a plot to properly resolve in 41 minutes.  The thought crossed my mind that I wasn’t enjoying this episode very much at all.

Like Torchwood: Miracle Day, there were some pretty interesting concepts that were introduced but not properly followed through.  Why bring in the Brigadier’s daughter Kate Stewart (Jemma Redgrave) if you’re not going to explore her role a bit more?  Why design the terrifying humanoid forces with their deformed funnel-like mouths if you’re going to drop the topic minute we arrive in the spaceship?

Have no fear, it wasn’t all bad and, in fact, I think it was all resolved the minute Rory walked into that goods lift.

*** DOUBLE SPOILER ALERT ***

In which I practically give away the ending of “The Power of Three”

The Redemption

I loved the idea of the lift portal into the spaceship and I loved the vision and conceptualisation of Shakri (Steven Berkoff).  I liked that The Doctor faced something that he didn’t know, something that he thought to be a myth.

Most of all?  I loved that for once, a massive Earth invasion has been planned and executed with a reasonable, realistic and logical end goal in sight.  Shakri was quite explicit that he had sought to “halt the human plague before the spread”, before they colonise space.   He emphasised that “the human contagion only must be eliminated” and I thought that presented a vivid picture of a universe years into the future where humans have destroyed, ruined and exploited planets, natural resources and populations just as they have done on Earth.  It made perfect sense to me and I could absolutely see why this being, one of the “pest controllers of the universe”, would take the measures to wipe out the human race before we could even begin.

And then, just when you think it’s all over, The Doctor reminds us why we are human and what it means to be alive.

___

The Doctor: “You want a tally.  Put their achievements against their failings through the whole of time.  I will back humanity against the Shakri every time”.

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I don’t often give away the ending of episodes (well, except last week and this week) but there was something about the Shakri’s final warning that “the Tally must be met” compared with The Doctor’s dismissal of him as a “talking propaganda poster”. 

So, a difficult, jumbled, busy episode that was absolutely redeemed by the final fifteen minutes.  If only I could look forward to this week’s episode rather than feeling terrified of what is to come.  Next Saturday, it all ends.  And I am pretty sure that I will never be happy about that.

What do you think? Are you looking forward to Saturday night?  What are your predictions and what do you think of River Song returning?

All images and promo stills © BBC 2012

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TV Review: Doctor Who – “A Town Called Mercy”

Out of the five episodes that we’ll be seeing in the first part of series 7 of Doctor Who, it was always “A Town Called Mercy” that I was looking forward to the most.  I absolutely love anything to do with the Wild West and I’m pretty partial to cyborgs too. A cyborg, The Doctor and a Frontier town called Mercy? Sounds like my cup of tea.

In “A Town Called Mercy”, the Frontier town has recently fallen siege to a lone gunslinger who demands that “the alien doctor” be delivered to him, but all is not what it seems.  Can The Doctor sort it out without losing his mercy altogether?

I loved this episode.  It was one of those episodes where I was immediately aware of how much I was loving and enjoying it and I know why too, so without further delay, let’s dive right in.

What I Loved

Two words, Toby Whithouse.  Toby is creator, writer and executive producer of Being Human.  In short, he is a genius and I absolutely love his writing.   When I saw that he was writing “A Town Called Mercy”, I knew I wouldn’t be disappointed.  This is the man who reunited The Doctor with his beloved Sarah Jane Smith, after all. 

Expectations aside, I felt that the writing was a lot tighter and the plot made sense for the first time in a long time.  “A Town Called Mercy” was truly scary at times and I loved the twist in which the roles of friends and foes was so easily reversed.

I liked the set design and costumes in this episode.  Like I said, I have a fascination with the Wild West and I quite liked this town of 81 residents, with its dusty roads and wooden buildings.  (Okay, I admit, how hard can it be?  But I liked it, okay?)  I liked the Stetsons and other assorted hats and costumes with the sole exception of poor Sadie (Joanne McQuinn).  That was one horrible corset.

I really liked the historical Earth setting.  If I had my own way, all Doctor Who stories would be set either in our past or way into the future, with most set on Earth or other interesting planets.  There would be less set on spaceships and less where present-day Earth is obliterated.  Not that I don’t enjoy those but I far prefer a bit of world-building or tampering with history from time to time.  I’d also like for the Timelords to be miraculously revived, for real this time, and for us to see some real Timelord action but moving on swiftly…

I really enjoyed the guest characters in this episode.

Ben Browder (Farscape) was divine as Marshall Isaac.  He’d barely made his entrance when I decided that I liked him very much indeed.  I liked this smart, witty sheriff who commanded the utmost respect of the townspeople while maintaining his integrity.  Oh, alright, I’ll admit it: I thought he was pretty easy on the eye too.

One thing I really liked in this episode was the accents (including Isaac’s) and it seemed to me that the fabulous Western drawls accentuated the Doctor’s own accent. 

Another character I quite liked was Dockery (Sean Benedict).  Perhaps we’ll see more of him on UK television screens now that he’s living in London?  I certainly hope so, he was good.

I really liked Andrew Brooke as The Gunslinger.  I thought his costume was brilliant, as was his cyborg interface, and I really liked his backstory and resolution.  Well, I managed to say all of that without divulging any spoilers, which wasn’t as easy as I originally thought.

*** SPOILER ALERT ***

Spoilers for “A Town Called Mercy”

I really enjoyed the dialogue in this episode.  It wasn’t as witty as “Dinosaurs on a Spaceship” but a lot of it was really clever and quite significant.

Amy (to The Doctor): “Why would he want to kill you?  Unless he met you”

___

The Preacher (referring to the horse): “He’s called Joshua.  It’s from the Bible, it means ‘the deliverer’”.
The Doctor: "No he isn't".
The Preacher: "What?"
The Doctor: "He's called Susan and he wants you to respect his life choices".

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The Doctor: “Today, I honour the victims first.  His, the Master’s, the Daleks’.  All the people who died because of my mercy”.

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The Doctor: “Frightened people.  Give me Daleks any day”.

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The Doctor: “You committed an atrocity and chose this as your punishment”.

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Kahler-Jex: “We all carry our prisons with us.  Mine is the past, yours is your morality”.

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I liked that after skirting around the issue for some time, they finally broached the subject of The Doctor’s mercy, his morality and his purpose.  It had seemed in the previous two episodes that he (and the writers) had forgotten all about it but I really loved that his current crisis of conscience was linked directly to his guilt over those he had failed.

It was absolutely fitting, too, that it was Amy that reminded him of that.  When she told him that this was not what we are all about, it was a statement of how much The Doctor has always needed his companions to link him to humanity.  That is what he loved about humans: our hope, our capacity for forgiveness and our mercy, and that is why he stood apart from the rest of the Timelords with their single-minded brutality. 

What was especially refreshing was that Amy was focused on The Doctor at all and not on breaking Rory’s heart or feeling that she’d somehow let him down.

*** SPOILER ALERT ***

In other words, I give away the ending here!

What I Didn’t Like

It wasn’t a complete lovefest with this episode but it was pretty close.  I didn’t like that Kahler-Jex (Adrian Scarborough) killed himself in the end.  Granted, The Doctor did not kill him and neither did The Gunslinger which means that the themes of mercy and restitution were resolved but I still don’t like it.  What it means is that the audience did not forgive him and thus participates in his judgement and execution.  Not only is that bad form for a children’s show (I know, there are those of you who deny that it is) but it is inconsistent with the entire message of the episode, never mind the show.

Given my love for Toby Whithouse though, I try to think how else it could have ended.  And the answer is that Kahler-Jex should have met his punishment in a manner consistent with the traditions of his planet.  In other words, he should have been handed over and imprisoned.

The Future

Amy and Rory declined further adventures with The Doctor at the end of the episode, warning that their friends would soon notice that they were aging faster than them.  So it is off back to Earth in the next episode “The Power of Three” and then the Weeping Angels return in “The Angels Take Manhattan”.  If you’ve missed my moaning and don’t know what is happening in “The Angels Take Manhattan” then I’m not going to bring it up again but there’s not much I can predict in the space of two episodes. 

I have a feeling that “The Power of Three” is going to be my least favourite type of Doctor Who story: unidentified yet surprisingly evolved and effective alien attack on Earth where we never quite figure out why they’re doing it or how no one noticed it coming in the first place.  Having said that, I’ve always quite enjoyed Chris Chibnall’s stories (he wrote last week’s “Dinosaurs on a Spaceship”) and it is a chance to see Mark Williams as Rory’s dad again, so maybe it’ll be okay?  Maybe we can also look forward to more Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy allusions too?

 

   

All images and promo stills © BBC 2012

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Book Review: Demonkeeper by Royce Buckingham

Nathaniel Grimlock is a demon keeper, taken in as a young boy to become an apprentice to master Demon Keeper Dhaliwahl.  Now Dhaliwahl is gone, and Nat has been left behind to look after a household of demons and to keep the demon world in order.  The only problem is that Nat’s only non-demon companion is a sheep dog called Bel and Nat has to admit that he is lonely.  What could possibly be the harm in meeting other young people his age, in perhaps getting a girlfriend?

What could be the harm, indeed?  In Royce Buckingham’s Demonkeeper, demons are all around us.  They are the manifestations of chaos in our universe and can range from the playful and mischievous to the outright malevolent.  When Nat ventures out and meets junior librarian’s assistant Sandy, he also catches the attention of two neighbourhood boys who break into the house and release The Beast, one of the nastiest demons of all.  Can Nat restore order and keep the girl, and most importantly, can he do it before the Thin Man catches up with him?

Demonkeeper is a short novel aimed at children aged 10 and up.  It is laugh-out-loud funny in places and my favourite part of the book was when Nat accidentally microwaved one of his demon minions (it exploded but don’t worry, the demon survived). 

Nat is a fabulous character with a dry wit and self-deprecating sense of humour.  Most of all, he is a strong character with an enormous responsibility on his shoulders who grows from reluctant and clumsy to heroic and competent.  I liked the idea of his three demon minions as well as the Thin Man’s minions. 

Most of all, Demonkeeper is a cautionary tale and I really enjoyed The Beast’s raison d’etre and the notion of lost children and the adults they become.

Demonkeeper is the perfect book for reluctant readers and should appeal to both boys and girls.  It is fun, exciting and original and I am pleased to see that it is the first in a trilogy.

I give Demonkeeper four out of five stars and will certainly continue to read this trilogy.

Purchase Royce Buckinham’s Demonkeeper from Amazon.co.uk or Amazon.com.

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TV Review: Doctor Who – “Dinosaurs on a Spaceship”

The BBC iPlayer site is so funny, it describes Doctor Who as a sci-fi drama.  Well, I guess “most awesome and longest running science-fiction television series on Earth” isn’t exactly a genre but still, “sci-fi drama” seems woefully inadequate. Of course, the only reason I was on iPlayer in the first place was for a chance to watch some of tonight’s scenes again and revel in the one-liners.  I really enjoyed “Dinosaurs on a Spaceship”.

As a spaceship hurtles towards Earth in the year 2367, the Indian Space Agency threatens to blow it out of orbit and The Doctor rushes to investigate.  I loved that the Indian Space Agency has become the most powerful space agency on Earth in the future!

We meet Queen Nefertiti (Riann Steele, Holby City).  She is fantastic, regal and impressive as well as being honourable, brave and absolutely stunning.  While Nefertiti’s appearance is explained by The Doctor being in Egypt at the beginning of the episode, it's not entirely clear why he calls upon explorer and game hunter Riddell but how fortuitous that he does, because not only is Rupert Graves divine in this part, but his game hunting skills come in mighty handy when they run into dinosaurs.  On a spaceship.

They get to teach a Triceratops to play fetch and Mark Williams makes a guest appearance as Rory’s dad, Brian Pond Williams.

Dinosaurs, the Doctor, an in-law, an ancient Egyptian queen and a trigger happy game hunter, what could possibly go wrong?

*** SPOILER ALERT ***

Spoilers for “Dinosaurs on a Spaceship”

What I Loved

Once again, I loved most of this episode, including nearly every moment that the Doctor was on screen (see below for things I didn’t like).  For the good parts, he was witty and as mad as ever with some fabulous lines.

“They’re just people, they’re not Ponds”

“Don’t ever judge me by your standards”

I loved his anger, his dawning realisation of the fate of the Silurians and his absolute commitment to save the dinosaurs.

By the way, did we know that the Doctor is a Sagittarius?

I adored Mark Williams as father-in-law Pond.  He fitted so well that I truly hope we get to see more of him in future.  They were big shoes to fill but could he take the place of Wilfred?  Brian Williams had some of the best lines in the episode.

“What kind of man doesn’t carry a trowel?”

Brian: “I’m not a Pond”
The Doctor: "Of course you are"

I loved the gigantic robotic robots with their oh-so-posh accents.  And I loved that The Doctor called them Metal Tantrum Machines.  Their entrance has to be one of the best in the history of Doctor Who:

“We’re very cross with you”

I liked that father-in-law Pond preferred Amy over Rory (my in-laws love me more too), I loved that Queen Nefertiti and Amy totally owned the men:

“I’m easily worth two men.  You can help to if you want”

Perhaps it is just me but I thought there were a couple of subtle nods to The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy in this episode.  Brian’s comment about the trowel was the first thing that made me think so, although I thought it was a bit of a stretch, but then the Metal Tantrum Machines really reminded me of the Paranoid Android Marvin.

What surprised me most about this episode was the complete mash-up between dinosaurs, ancient Egypt, colonial hunting and space travel and the fact that I liked it.  Cross-genre mash-ups can get quite messy but I quite enjoyed this one.  Then again, a little blue police box turning up across time and space is a bit random anyway and I’ve never had a problem with that.

What I Was Conflicted About

The problem with an actor like David Bradley is that sometimes he’s going to get a truly despicable role and sometimes he’s going to play it really well.  Add in another Doctor Who genocide plot and the matter of a little casual mass murder, and I’m conflicted.  Great acting but I really didn’t like Solomon.

*** DOUBLE SPOILER WARNING ***

What I Disliked

I really didn’t like it when Solomon killed the Triceratops.  This is a children's’ show! What are they doing randomly killing animals on it, never mind precious, extinct, fetch-playing dinosaurs??

And on the subject of killing, since when did the Doctor get so damn casual about sending his enemies to their death?  Maybe I misunderstood the whole series to date but I thought the Doctor carried the whole guilt of the universe on his shoulders over what he did to the Daleks?  He killed when necessary but more often left his enemies to a suitable fate (such as the Family at the end of “The Family of Blood”). 

I don’t want Doctor Who to become one of those shows where people are gratuitously killed, I thought the Doctor was meant to be far more clever than that? 

Thoughts of the Future

I don’t have any predictions this week but I do have an observation.  What is it that the Doctor knows when he looks at Rory and Amy with such sadness?  Does he know what is coming, that they are going to die?  The Doctor has made some pretty selfish choices in the past, putting the end-game ahead of his companion’s needs.  Would he continue to call the Ponds back knowing that he is putting them in danger? I hope not.

I’m still not happy these two are leaving.  I get it.  Two young actors realised they didn’t want to be type-cast and are leaving the show before it is too late.  I just wish it hadn’t been leaked so early, by the BBC no less, and I wish it wasn’t hanging over the whole season.  Spoilers suck.

"So, next week is “A Town Called Mercy” and it looks like it is going to be a fabulous Wild West romp.  I can’t wait!

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Film Review: Total Recall (2012)

When I heard that they were remaking the 1990 film Total Recall, I was pretty suspicious. I didn't think the film would be more loyal to Philip K Dick's original short story, and I thought it would be another pointless reboot. 

Ten weeks later, as I watched the beginning of Len Wiseman's Total Recall (2012), I was ever more doubtful as we learn that this film is not set on Mars but a dystopian Earth.

I was prepared to hate it but loved it instead.

The difference between Total Recall and this one is that while I loved the former for its quirkiness and so-bad-it's-good cult appeal, I actually think Total Recall (2012) is a pretty great film with fantastic world-building, brilliant special effects and breath taking fight scenes.  Oh, and it stars a pretty fine-looking Colin Farrell too.

Total Recall (2012) is loosely based on Philip K Dick's short story "We Can Remember It For You Wholesale", more loosely so than the 1990 version. 

In this version, chemical warfare at the end of the 21st century reduced the Earth to two habitable areas: the United Federation of Britain (formerly UK and Europe) and the Colony (formerly Australia). In typical imperialist style, the UFB colonised what remained of Australia and reduced the population to working drones.  Workers are transported through the core of the Earth to UFB each day so that they can work on production lines assembling the robotic, synthetic police force that maintains order in UFB (which I’m going to call Synths because I think that’s what they were called).

 

Colin Farrell is Douglas Quaid, a Synth assembly worker who dreams of fantastic, adrenalin-filled fight scenes each night and eventually goes to Rekall to have memories of being a spy implanted in his brain.  There’s only one problem – he already is one.

What I Loved About Total Recall (2012)

Writers and filmmakers seem obsessed with dystopian worlds these days but I still quite liked the idea of the Colony and the UFB getting back to her imperialist roots.  I loved the concept of The Fall, the gravity elevator linking UFB and the Colony.  Sure, the science behind it was completely dodgy considering what would actually happen if you travelled through the centre of the Earth from Britain to Australia in 17 minutes, but I’m not deducting any points for that.

I loved the conceptualisation of the Colony.  Originally intended to be called New Asia, the Colony was a clash of Steampunk, Russian and Asian influences with bright lights, perpetual darkness and fabulous fashions.  The Colony was overpopulated, crazy and futuristic with creepy, box-like, disjointed apartments and general chaos. If the vertical and horizontal slum-style development ever came into style, with towering hulks of buildings constructed upon buildings, the Colony would be it.

In contrast, the United Federation of Britain which was daylight where the Colony was dark, again with towers upon towers but this time full of modern, London-chic style buildings.

I have always loved the idea that highways will expand vertically in the future with grids of traffic flows both horizontal and vertical and this was no exception.  I loved the magnetic powered vehicles weaving around all that remains of the Houses of Parliament, the clock tower.

I really liked the Synths.  Part Stormtrooper, part marionette with incredible agility, I just loved the way they looked, acted and moved.  I guess they had human actors inside and I liked that.

Colin Farrell was surprisingly good. That's not really fair to say. I was a massive Colin Farrell fan about ten years ago until he turned out to be a drunken lout and was photographed walking unwashed, unshaved and barefoot around a Cape Town store with tracksuit pants and a horrendous beany covering his oily, unwashed hair. But now he's back and he's lovely and I remember now why I liked him so much - he is a damn fine actor.

I really liked Kate Beckinsale and her smoky psychotic eyes, so much so that I want to watch her Underworld films now. Of course, it got to a point where I just wanted her to die but think that was kind of the point.

What I Thought Was Okay

I kept waiting for a twist but it never really came. There are no massive reveals here as I guessed precisely who Doug Quaid was and what had happened to him. That didn't detract at all from my enjoyment of the film and I enjoyed piecing it together as much as I enjoyed the fast pace and non-stop action.

Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad) played Cohaagen, the main protagonist of the film.  I thought he was okay but I wasn’t too impressed by his plot.  But hey, when did we ever let a weak plot ever get in the way of a good film?

Melina (Jessica Biel) was certainly pretty but her role in the film was pretty much limited by Quaid’s inability to remember her.  Maybe I’m just not ever going to get Jessica Biel.  For some crazy reason, I always mix her up with Elizabeth Shue and Elizabeth Berkley.  And Jennifer Grey. 

Then again, maybe it was the fact that they only named her Melina, with no surname or concrete backstory.

What Melina lacked in character though, she more than made up with in agility, weapon-control and fighting skills.  And patience.  If my boyfriend woke up one day and couldn’t remember me anymore, I’d freaking give him a black eye.

What Missed the Mark

Half a point off for the depiction of the London Underground. It was definitely filmed elsewhere and everything from the platforms to the tiles to the trains was more likely to be American (perhaps filmed in the Mexican Metro system, like the original?)  It was a real pity but for a Tube-phile like me, it was slightly distracting.  I would have liked to have seen more rounded tunnels, rondels and red-and-grey carriages.

So, while the rest of the critics slated this film and it scored a rotten 29% on RottenTomatoes.com, I loved it and give it a healthy 4.5 stars out of 5.  And please, Mr Farrell, more films please.

All images ©2011 Columbia Pictures Industries, Inc

 

 

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